Rebuilding Trust After Narcissistic Abuse

Surviving a narcissistic relationship can leave deep scars, especially when it comes to trust. You may feel anxious, hypervigilant, or even afraid of trusting again. After all, someone you once believed in may have manipulated, gaslighted, or betrayed you.

But trust isn’t about blindly believing in others; it’s about learning to trust wisely. It’s about rebuilding self-trust, setting clear boundaries, and recognising who is truly safe. Most importantly, it’s about believing in yourself again.

Why Trust Feels Impossible After Narcissistic Abuse

Betrayal rewires your brain – When someone repeatedly deceives you, your mind begins to associate trust with danger.

Gaslighting made you doubt yourself – You may have been conditioned to ignore your instincts and second-guess your reality.

Fear of repeating the past – Your nervous system may be stuck in survival mode, making it hard to let your guard down.

Healing from this trauma isn’t about forcing yourself to trust; it’s about rebuilding it safely, step by step.

How to Rebuild Trust in Yourself and Others

1. Rebuild Self-Trust First

Before you can trust others, you must learn to trust yourself again. Honour your feelings, validate your experiences, and stop silencing your intuition.

✔ Keep small promises to yourself (e.g., “I will rest when I need to”).

✔ Speak kindly to yourself instead of doubting your judgment.

✔ Differentiate between fear and intuition—your gut feelings matter.

Journal Prompt: What are three small ways I can rebuild trust in myself today?

2. Set Realistic Expectations for Trust

Trust doesn’t mean expecting perfection from others. It’s about learning who is truly safe.

✔ Observe actions, not just words.

✔ Communicate your boundaries clearly.

✔ Trust slowly not everyone deserves immediate access to your heart.

Journal Prompt: What are my core values in relationships? How can I use them to determine who is safe to trust?

3. Heal from Past Betrayals

Carrying past wounds into new relationships can keep you stuck in fear. Healing is about learning from the past, not living in it.

✔ Allow yourself to grieve lost relationships without guilt.

✔ Release the belief that everyone will hurt you.

✔ Seek support—healing alone is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Journal Prompt: What fears about trust am I holding onto, and how can I begin releasing them?

4. Take Small, Safe Steps Towards Trust

Rebuilding trust doesn’t mean opening up fully to everyone. Start small and observe how people respond.

✔ Share a minor thought or feeling—do they respect it?

✔ Notice how people handle your boundaries.

✔ Give trust gradually, not all at once.

Journal Prompt: What are some small ways I can practice trust in my daily life?

5. Learn Who is Trustworthy (and Who is Not)

Not everyone deserves your trust. Pay attention to patterns, not just apologies.

✔ Safe people respect your boundaries.

✔ Safe people listen without dismissing your feelings.

✔ Safe people show consistent honesty and integrity.

Red Flags in Untrustworthy People:

They pressure you to “forgive and forget” quickly.

They manipulate you with guilt or blame.

They refuse to take accountability for their actions.

Journal Prompt: Who in my life has consistently shown trustworthiness? Who has not?

Final Thoughts: Trusting Again is Possible

Rebuilding trust after narcissistic abuse isn’t about blindly trusting again; t’s about trusting wisely. It’s about protecting yourself without shutting yourself off from the possibility of healthy, loving relationships.

You are not obligated to trust those who have hurt you.
Your ability to trust will strengthen as you heal.
Progress, not perfection—trust at your own pace.

Want the full, in-depth guide on rebuilding trust after narcissistic abuse? Email me at andreabevansg@gmail.com and I’ll send you a free copy!